Turning to you...

When I am not sure where to go, I turn to you.  I turn the pages of my memory, jump into the pond of nostalgia and drown in the days we walked together. I talk to you still because the only one who could understand me in this planet is you; sad that I am not the one for you.  It has been a decade since I saw you when my eyes are opened but you are there for me to stop the flowing tears when my eyes are closed. Not this life is meant for us to live together, smile together, and walk together. Never your smell left my skin; the only effervescent smell that makes me gets thorough all the nasty smell around me.  When I run down to abyss, the only hope to get out is your image. The aroma you left in my body, the change you made in my aura with your hug keeps me alive.  The best thing that has happened in my life was being with you and the worst is being alone without you.  Somewhere you were there in my heart in deep slumber and when I am in need of you, you wake up and give me your shoulders.  It is a pain to live without you.  I decided to search you in someone else at least bits and pieces of you. The search ends up in abyss pushing me down to the darkest place of life. And again you wake up from your slumber in my heart and walk me a decade back to the same road; the same road where we walked together hand in hand. The same umbrella you avoided once helped us to warm up later when we walked in rain. The kiss you left in the air and stuck in my skin scorches me when I was in need of one. Not one day skips without your memory.  Few said it is that memory keeping me away from life; but only I know that is the only thing keeping me alive. The solitary days we spent thinking of the days we are going to spent along, the promises I made, the promises you made, sleepless nights, seamless hugs, killing kisses were all those I kept secretly in my brain and open it when I feel like falling from the sky to the land. Never had you let me cry till you held me in your arms. I was just an infant in your hands, slept on your bosom, and felt the warm of love.  It makes me cry though it has happened a decade before. I call it happy tears because I was happy and it makes me happy even now.  Since I left you, the solitary days looked different.  I was used to be alone along with you.  I still didn’t get used to be in solitude without you. I waited for the loneliness to leave me; but it didn’t because it knows I will be left alone if it leaves me.  It is the only companion after you, like an old bookmark in the book.  Thanks for being with me both of you.