Saturday, March 28, 2015

Desire...

crtsy: google images

The acoustic of aroma of her femininity was too loud, thus making me a man of capable of not hearing.  Some dogmas of life acted as hearing aid but the shadow of light – my eyes – demolished those lines of belief.  Her countenance flourished in the day light to make my eye lids act against the gravity.  I learnt that the aroma could conduct electricity when a high voltage current of emotion ran through my spine stopping all the neural veins to pass the senses to the brain.  Her enigmatic body made my mind stroll in the pitch dark forest in a full moon day, eyes grabbed everything but with trepidation.  I prayed her to walk away to keep my decorum in place but my hormones played a tough game against me to keep my mouth shut.  The shiver spread all over my body suppressing the activities of my brain to transport me to a world of trance.
Every time I commute to that fantasy world I pull myself back to my own place.  But, every time I pull myself back she pulls me from the others side.  She pulls me hard holding my sight as a rope.  She takes my shivering hands and places one on her cheeks that which feel like the feathers of the pigeon.  She finds the other hand waiting for her hands.  She takes the other too and places it on her hip.  The virtual softness chills down my blood, pumps my bosom high and my heart turns to be a hammer to hit the rib cage to break it and come out to see her.  So strong was the fragrance of her feminine nature, so strong to heat up the life long hidden desire, so strong to crack the vessel of opposite gender.

Desire is like water in a container with lid.  It is capable to blow off the lid when it is heated to the boiling point.  Her fragrance started heating my desire, my long hidden desire that I poured in my heart container.  Now I am afraid that it is going to blow of the lid of my heart and pour out my desire.  She didn't seem to be shaken or sullen with the touch of my hands but moved like a stream of water that fills the duns with pleasure. Deep inside her eyes I saw my desire, the reflection of my longing, destruction of my chastity.  Where is her feelings and her desires? She hides in her smile! I neared her without urgency though I know the virtual world of trance could suffer a tremor anytime and could break into pieces.  I neared her lips; I felt her warm breathe over my lips, her eyes still looking deep inside my eyes without any fear.  She moved my hands to her neck from her cheeks, my finger slid like a feet placed in frozen lake and my desire like an avalanche.  I slightly increased my grip of my hand she closed her eyes and lifted her chins for me to kiss.  I moved my hands over her hip she neared me a little to make me feel her bosom.  A high voltage shock spread all over my body, the surrounding was lit with a powerful beam of light blocking everything from eyes.  Just the emotion and her softness was all I could see and feel.  She moved her hands to the back of my head and tightened her embrace.  She melted me like an ice cube in the hot sun.   I was torn in her clutch; my heart beat reached a speed that of its max and stopped.  I closed my eyes to take all of her inside.  She entered in, my nerves busted, brain dead, blood frozen, my desire blew the lid off, my vessel cracked when I was sailing in the mid sea.  I was lost.  There was no question, no answer, no me, no she, no love, no god, no desire, no life.  Every thing was just and still – the enlightenment.  Then the tremor struck the trance world to smash it to pieces and pieces.   I opened my eyes.  There is no me, no she, no trance. Every thing vanished in time. 

Sunday, February 1, 2015

Sita...


Courtesy : Google Images
…the deity of patience, the feminine face of courage and power, a strongest but softest female born on this earth – Sita – walked slowly in the trodden path.

            One good place, where the early morning breeze caressed her face and made her long hair to dance to the song of the birds and replenished her suffering heart, she stopped and paused her walk.  Her soul-mate, Rama, stopped too to see what made his wife stop.
           
            The deity overlooked her path that enfolded before her.  The surrounding was all good, with singing early morning birds, aromatic welcoming flowers, holy water running towards her destination with enchanting music and filling the duns with water to fulfill the wishes of the mother earth.  The soulful igniter of earth, the mater of all sources of power, the Sun, slowly raised at the long distance horizon like a gold coin tossed from the sea.  The wind was mild and joyful.  The apes jumped from tree to another and celebrating the moment for no reason.  The snakes moving hear and there felt no fever even after looking at the strangers in their place as if they felt they all where true humans that will hurt none.

            In spite of all magical surrounding, Sita found her path before her filled with stones and thorns.  She already felt the pang she is going to endure.  At the end of the road she saw the light, the masterful Sun glowing.  She smiled at the light at the end of her path but the smile didn't last for long.  Suddenly the burning ball looked like a pyre ball to her.  She smiled again, now, without joy in her countenance as if she understood her destiny.

            Rama looked at her to say “my dear goddess, deity of patience, I have told you the path is not so easy to walk.  Since you have married me it is not mandatory to you to walk on the same trodden path that I walk.  I know it hurts you but know this; it hurts me more than you”

            Sita walked near her husband “I could have stayed in the palace, slept in the softest of soft bed, ate sweetest feeds and enjoyed all the luxuries that a princess deserves but what could a veena sing when its strings are removed” she continued, “what could just breathing can do to a body that has no soul in it”.  She looked into her husband’s pure countenance and felt the purity and love he has for her.

            Every woman born on this planet carries a part of Sita, the deity of patience and endurance, in fact the whole of Sita. They have to undergo a test of patience at some point of time in their life in order to bring out the glitter in them, which is hiding inside.  Sita knew she has to undergo a great test that which will bring out the native nature of femininity – the purity.  What makes difference between the palace and the forest, for Sita and for all Sitas’ it is the presence and absence of Rama.  

            Sita walked on the thorns and stones with her rosy feet which ached but not more than her breeze hearth which ached for the sorrows of her husband.  When Rama walked like a Sun, Sita followed him like a Moon.  Though Sun does everything, moon is always enchanting.  It’s the Moon; its beauty makes anybody a lunatic.  Sometimes lunatic people destroy themselves and sometimes they try to destroy the Moon itself.  After long agony the dusk covered the eyes of the Sun and in that dense forest of poisonous trees Sita lost her light and fell on the lap of the earth and slept.

O! Everyone on the Earth,
Sita knew her destiny, but
She believed her husband would make it tiny.
Darkness covered his eyes, and
Sita’s purity and sanity became lies.

O! Everyone on the Earth,
Do not test the pure honey,
It requires not of preservatives any.
            Sitas’ of this earth are just not flames,

They are the source of the fire, do not be lame.

Sunday, November 30, 2014

A colorless flower

google images crtsy
Slowly the light faded, the night covered his heart, no sign of stars even.  In that pitch dark, under the shadow of the night, a sapling that has grown inside that was watered for days and nights and well preserved has sprouted a flower, a colorless flower, which cannot be seen in dark, cannot be seen in the winter, and cannot be seen by most of the beings. This flower, most of the time, fades and withers on the cotton before the light comes.  And being colorless it fades away from others eyes too, only the sapling and gardener knows its existence and exhaustion. When he closed his eyes the flower withered on his cheeks. The image of converting his words in printed papers, his long-lasting dream, flashed his eyes.  He knows a little courage and confidence will one day make his dream come true. But what could seed that courage and confidence in his heart is something he doesn't know.  The dream of somebody holding his heart, as coalesced words, in hands to read and appreciate watered the sapling in his heart and the colorless flowers dropped one by one on his cheeks. 

The longing for the light, the true light which could give colors to those flowers, swayed the solitude cradle and oiled his dark flames.  The fumes of the pangs made him suffocate as if somebody clutched his throat.  Be it whatever, he kept is heart beat and sapling grow in a belief that one day he will reach an oasis in this deserted life.

When he has missed an angel that flew from up above to take him to heaven he made all his love for the angel into words.  He wrote all those words sitting on a sea shore where he saw a mermaid that soothed his heart.  Without thinking about what is inside the sea he jumped into it along with mermaid.  He enjoyed until he reached the deep mid sea where in he found it’s the world for mermaids.  He is an odd man there.  He wanted to drink all the salt water to make the place for him.  When his stomach was full he learnt he neither could drink the entire sea nor take the mermaid to land, only one can survive.  It is water everywhere but not a drop of fresh water to drink.  Thirst made him to die for water.  To die in sleep is bliss but to sleep while throat hurts and longs for a drop of fresh water is painful.  In the urge of putting is thirst off he swam to the shore leaving mermaid in her place.  In love, the mermaid often tried to pull him into the sea forgetting it is not the place for him and he is not ready to die; mistake of the designer.

A minuscule lamp will lit is night but he neither had lamp nor strength to light.  The light has become a far destination and to walk to it, he thought, requires some help.  God helps that who are incapable of helping themselves and that is why he was left unattended by Him for a long time.   And when another flower withered on his cheeks a soft hands touched his forehead and wipe away his tears.  He refrained from opening his eyes and the urge to pull that hand closer and burry his head in her bosom raised high in his heart.  He thought the day has come, light has come, Sun has raised and darkness was swept away.  He pulled her hands to make her closer and open his eyes…

It was still dark.  No sign of light.  Sun has not shown up yet.  The expedition has not reached an oasis.  She has not come yet… Not yet…  

He again closed his eyes and a flower withered on the cotton.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

the virtual reality...

courtesy - google
From a long distance, with a better eye sight, I saw a painting.  At the first sight I fell in love as its beauty saw me into pieces.  It’s an art painted by a veteran hands. The color selection was most perfect, the background was at its best, and the wardrobe to the character in the painting was ravishing.
This picture was of an ilk that which makes its creator to jump in vanity; a true masterpiece.  There is no match to this piece of wonder for there is no match for any masterpieces.  Every art is unique, incomparable as it is a broken part from the heart of its creator.  What you see in a wonder art is just not a creation but the urge and passion of the artist.
This painting glimmered from the distance I saw.  He has painted an angel which we only heard about, which we only read.  She is an angel without wings.  I could see her countenance flittering like a star in the dusk, her slender body illuminating like a planet in night; and as a picture as a whole emitting the effulgent light of the creator.
I walked closer to take a deep look at the painting.  O! My holy creator! It is not a painting but a statue of an angel.

…a statue of an angel; sculpted by the world’s most skilled sculptor.  From head to toe the creator imbibed all his passion. Also, I doubted: if he has created one such statue as a result of his obsession to see a real beauty.
From some roaming star in the space, a new born sun, the material for the statue was selected.  The ravishing hairs looked like a dense forest with a pavement in the middle lit with the light of the moon.  Those enchanting eyes mesmerized anybody that looked at, and hypnotized everyone to fall in love with this enchantress.  And that dimple in the cheek made anybody to slip and fell and mesmerizes to get up not from it.
They flamboyant smile she carried suffices any heart that were in search of happiness.  The lines on her lips said a short story of beauty and lust.  The carvings of her body, her slender physical appearance made any male a malevolent.  Words could explain those carvings, that aroma of romance around her, but it takes hundreds of years to finish writing.
…the toe was sculpted to make it stand on the water, to float, to walk over it.  The wardrobe added luminescence to the statue.  The color white of her dress reflected the light, her inner light.  I wondered: is it a statue of beauty or a broken piece of moon.
I neared a little to see the ravishing beauty closer.  My eyes got stuck to her, eyelids wanted to shut my eyes to protect it from dryness but I resisted closing to protecting my heart from dryness.
And finally, when I neared, she said “Hi”

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Caught...

…caught in a dark dense forest, I stumbled to move to find the path to get away.  But the place was aromatic densely decorated with the fragrance of jasmine.  The forest allowed not the Sun light to peep-in making me perplex to realize whether it is a day or a night.  Dense populated trees looked shiny, flexible and smooth.  Is this a really a place or a dream, I wondered.  I ran through the gaps between the trees in the dark, none hurt me, and not even a piece of thorn I found on the way.  And finally I found a path in the middle of the forest which was little slippery.  The fragrance still disturbed me, hijacking me to an unknown place of romance.  In the fight between my mind to stay back and my brain to get out, my brain won.  I glided all the way on that path, the way shone like a road in the moon light.  With weight in heart, of leaving such a wonderful aromatic place, I walked out of that forest.  It was a day.  I turned back and saw the forest I came out from and awed to see all trees in black.  I started to walk.  The surface was smooth like silk, painted with the mixture of rose and gold.  Here and there I felt the tumor which shook my entire universe.  I was afraid not. Like a walk in the cloud I tread slowly.  I reached a point where there were full of loose soil in vermilion.  The fragrance of the soil gave a divine ecstasy. Both side of the place where I stood had tiny bushes, perfectly cut like a bow.  Little further I strolled; I saw a small peak which I need to claim.  It was not tough but lovely.
The way to the peak was silky, alike the same surface I walked.  I claimed and reached the top and turned back to see the copy of the universe, the camouflage of sky, at both the sides.  In the middle of both the copy of the universe it had a black whole which attracts the entire light around into it, even I felt like jumping into it.  Surprisingly it had a moving surface like a shutter which closes and opens once in a while to bring day and night.  O! What a design! What the greatness of the hands that made! I astonished.  I tuned around to look down from the top of the peak, as if to jump.  And what I saw had put me in trance.  It was a valley in rose shade, looked like a bed of rose flowers from the peak.  “O! Such a place! Let me die, I am going to jump, though it is going to hurt me” I though and jumped.  In next few seconds I was floating in the valley of rose jelly.  The softness carried me away to the heaven; the aroma aroused the hidden lust in my heart.  The urge to consume all the beauty of the valley pumped my blood fast.  All the malevolent thoughts peeped out from its grave in my mind. There were small ravines on the valley, I jumped in euphoria and played.
I know I could not stay there for long time as it might take my decorum in to task and suppress all my benevolence and make me all malevolent.  With no mood to get out, I strolled out of the place.  I reached a point from where I could see pits and mountains and I was awestruck to see the flexible trees in black, from the forest I came out, flowing over those pits and mountains.  It was all a dangerous abyss but the most lust kindling feel it gave.  To dive and die into that abyss will take me to heaven.  The mountains looked like a dormant volcano, as I could feel the heat of it from the place where I stood, ready to burst with lust any time. I closed my eyes for a second to make a decision either to dive or not.  Before I made a decision, before I opened my eyes I jumped into that abyss. 

When I was about to reach the abyss I was startled by a hand which shook my shoulders… 

Sunday, August 31, 2014

writer's block...

It is always like this; what makes me write will be always the one that blocks me from writing.  I sit with my pen; scratch some lines on the empty white sheet in my journal.  Nothing comes to mind to write.  Not even a word.  I never run out of ideas to write but there are thousands all together, congested and culminated.  I sit before my technical chaos which holds alphabets in a zig-zag fashion and beg my thought process to create some words which I could type and form something which could be made available for others to read.  Along with the chaos; the comments from my beloveds to simplify my expressions, sits behind my shoulders and tap my head once in a while when I twist some sentence, unintentionally.
Along with the block there exist a feel which makes me sad adding fuel to my solitude.  To burst in to tears, roll over the floor and cry (now do not create another abbreviation ROFC) might not take long time for me but I want my craziness to live and die with me.  I want to burst into tears in my words, like a toddler who rolls over the floor and cry; I want to roll my pen over my journal and cry.  This is not something anew for me, for that case, not new for any writer.  There are many journals, blogs, books, and letters ends not just with ink dot but with colorless drop. The world of a writer is filled with funny solitude and fun filled sadness.  It is the world of insanity and craziness. He or she finds meaning jut not in the words or in between the lines but in the gap, the space, between the words and lines.  In the space between the lines there exists a writers’ heart, for the words come after he or she puts his or her thoughts into words but the space comes even before the words peeps out.
What makes me to write is always the one that blocks me to write.  I write just because I want to write.  Thousands of lines can be created with no meanings in it but not even a word without a piece of heart of a writer.  Thousands of lines may go in vain but once after the vent those lines give there comes just once sentence which might change the entire universe of at least one being.  I never question from where does the thought to write comes because when I tend to enquire it stops flowing. Simply, like the ground water exhausted when humans shoved deep down the earth to find more water.
Other than pride, love and prejudice there exist nothing to write.  And thousands of writers born on this planet wrote about all those things leaving nothing new for the future generations to write. But, every word of a writer is new as it holds the piece of his heart.  Things have to be retold, rewritten, and rephrased for the world to understand better though not the retold things but at least the predecessors. 
I knew, I never have got a stabilized and sanitized mind but when I stabilize my thoughts and sanitize my emotions then I get stuck in the writer’s block. It is like pushing someone in the mid sea that cannot swim though he might not sink but he can not survive.  To write everything should be looked at as divine.  Be it red lips of a woman or be it a blood oozing out from a wound it should be looked at as divine in order to write.  When that divineness drops I end up in the writer’s block.  When the haste for our creator and also the taste for the lust drop, I am entangled in the writer’s block.
When the solitude is removed, sadness is vanished; happiness is wiped out only the nothingness prevails where there is nothing to write or no more to write.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

...the better half

A mild music mesmerized the evening, a soft and chilled breeze added romance to the moment.  It was about to rain, few drizzles here and there made the earth to revel its aromatic fragrance.  The twilight was painted in orange as if a kid played with colors on the wall.  The clouds were in process of merging with one another alike a just married couple, but the wind acted as the decorum to make them stay apart for little awhile.  The time was fast approaching for the day to embrace the night and night to glitter in shy but the clouds hid all the glittering of the night alike a woman hiding her shy when her man touches her; and in her ear whispers some lies.

He was holding his favorite book, which he was reading for the nth time.  Leaning over the cushion, watching the fast approaching night through the window he was again falling in love with Selma Karmy.
“Is it again the Broken Wings” she asked him sitting next to him. 
“Yes, it suites the evening and this climate” he replied. 
“Yes, of course it suites the evening” she replied.
“…the only writer born in this world, Gibran. Nobody could make me realize the love I have inside me other than this book, Gibran, and…” he stopped
“…and?” she said
“You…” He said.
He opened his arms; she got closer to him and leaned back over his chest.  He held her tightly from behind, the book in his right hand and her hip in his left. 
“Shall we read together…?” he asked.
“I love to…” she replied.

They filled the evening romance with the essence of the book and the love it bestowed them.  His lips, in between the read, read her cheeks sometimes.
“Did you see the love of Selma Karmy in me…?” she asked.
“No” he replied.  She frowned slightly.
“I see the beauty of this book – Broken Wings – in you” he smiled. She closed her eyes and clutched his hand that was holding her on her hip.  A warm breeze crossed her cheeks and it rained there.  She kissed him back.

“What has changed after marriage or after I came in to your life?” she whispered.
“…many times I kissed this book, and after marriage it kissed me back” he said and kept his silence continue.  She understands his silence and in that silence they read the book, he read her, she read him.

After a deep long silence he whispered her name in her ear.  She said nothing.
“…how could you decipher the love in my silence? Many a time I was afraid that this strange silence of mine would irritate you, but you showed no sign of any such thing.  But I could not talk anything more than that my silence could not say. The warmness of your caress adds fuel to my silence and makes me go speechless.” He said

“ssshhhh” she sounded and turned her head to one side with her ear over his chest and said “don’t talk, I am listening to your heart”.

He closed the book and surfed over her abdomen. She clutched his shirt and said “May the third heart beat, by God’s grace, be heard very soon in our life” 

“I don’t quite understand how you could understand what I was thinking” He said

“My man, I am listening to your heart” she kissed him in his chest.


PS: Selma Karmy was the beloved of Kahlil Gibran, read "Broken Wings"  to get to know more about.